#i mean i know the actual reason for the guilt

[ivys-garden]

Life Series Recap: session 6.

Hey mcytblr. How are you keeping?

Well I've had Insomnia and accidentally ate half a loath of stale bread so let's distract ourselves from it all with some nice life series stuff, eh?

Todays wild card was… OK so like, this is probably the weirdest one (and also probably my least favourite but that's a me issue)

So like… every animal dies. Then new ones spawn. Then they become something random… wat

Now despite what the random signs that keep suspiciously appearing around grian say, thus isn't actually TOO dangerous. But hey that just leaves more room for these Theatre kids to drama it up in this messy soap opera of a series

So, without further dillydallying, let's look at these fools

The Final Gals (Scott, Cleo, Pearl, Impulse, Bigb, Etho)

Billy is dead. So is Grian, probably. they've got like 20 reasons to kill that lil scamp now.

Today is a full on trap day it seems! Scott is once again enabling so everyone gets their murder hats on. Impulse traps the base with pitfalls, obviously taking inspiration from Mumbo.

Bigb also gets his traps on, killing skizz in revenge and killing lizzie for no reason. Ps are we ignoring that Jimmy almost called him a son of a bitch orrrrrrrr

Oh yes, Bigb and Etho are now officially full members, and now the Bigb is a hostile mob, we can trust him again!

I mean, not too weird, they've got a Cleo. A very big brained and Dastardly Cleo. They plan to trap the wheat field with bombs. Heck they convinced Tango and martyn it already was! They also managed to acquire a cheeky Villager, so bows of death may be making a comeback.

Speaking of bigb actually, he's like even more trust worthy. It's almost scary. He refuses to betray Pearl and instantly tattles on Scar AND when lizzie coms a knocking over I.pukse trying to kill her and Impulse blames him, he fully accepts guilt no questions asked! What was in his water today, are we sure this is the same guy?

Scott does some miscellaneous chores. He fully turned the tower into a cake, which yada yada two nickels. He also goes never raiding with Cleo and makes his once per session trip to go complement Jimmy in a totally jot fruity way, Promise. Ignore how it's only his parrot Scott tried to save from that Blaze that means nothing.

Now, Pearl. She is given the task by gem

To kill gem. So she and her new murder bestie Impulse get on they're cammel and get down to mischief. Starting with creepers!

They failed miserably with creepers. Gem is a very fast rat

They go for a raid!

The wild card kills it. Dam.

They go for a spawn egg trap + a cammel nap!

The session ends before they can pull it off God dam it.

Pearl also thinks complimenting gem will get her to like her again so take that as you will. I say, knowing full well how you fuckers will take it. I see you, and so does G O D.

Oh, Pearl also acquires a very special tool that I'll mention in Etho's bit, but needless to say he gives it to Impulse and provided he does bimbo his key binds… again, he could come back from the dead…

The Family (Gem, Joel, Etho)

Joel found a bloody trial chamber. what the devils. He looted that bitch so good.

Anyway

All the cows are dead.

Also, a new watchtower? Pog? No. Its hideous. Much like gems barn, which has become a real ship of Theseus.

Speaking of Gem, she invents new and exciting ways to hate Pearl! This week: forgetting that gem ripped her eye out!

Yeah no fair how did she forget that.

Anyway, as gem is fully insane she decides the only way Pearl can make it up to her is to (checks notes) Murder her. Yep. Now, if my friend murdered me I'd probably take that negatively, but not Gem. She's itching to 1v1 pearl. Shame that Pearl is actually being cautious and thinks that trapping her is more sensible (tho maybe she should 1v1 gem since Pearl sucks at making traps. Just saying)

Speaking of traps, Gem and Etho try to kill ren! For no reason! He's their friend! It doesn't work but like, what the hell guys!?

Gem also chose to give her life to skizz…. More on how that went at 11.

The Bamboozelers (Scar, Jimmy, Lizzie)

Oh the Bamboozelers. Where do we start?

The Bam Bunker of course! Scars off hand pipe dream was fully realised this session as Jimmy and Lizzie spend all session building they're super secret bunker!... Scott manages to bimbo his way in and Scar invites Etho in… and it's not hidden at all… but hey, bunker!

And just in time too, turns out living on an open grassy mountain with plants that limit mobility during a mob spawn wild card is a bad idea. Lizzie almost died to wither had Jimmy not killed her so as to not waste her life.

I mean he did waste her life by trying to kidnap an Iron Golem but, eh.

Now looking at pay offs for last sessions events, we get anticlimax! Jimmy tries to kill gem when she offers her help in murdering people and Lizzie finds out that Ender porters fail if you died after you set them up. Whoops!

Speaking of Lizzie failing, she blows up Martyn and Ethos tower! He was supposed to get Tango as requested by skizz, but he's too smart. Lucky that martyn isn't eh?

No, when Scar wasn't being ironically killed by vex in trial chambers, or trying to make Shulker boxes for Actually no reason, or ruining traps for people, he was…. Being gaslit into thinking evokers still dropped Totems by grian. He did come up with a good idea of egg farming, but unfortunately eggs were turned off it seems, guess no big brain Scar this session.

Also for some reason Scar tries to get people to kill Pearl. Pearl has done nothing to him, but I guess that fits Pearl overall, do nothing and forgive everyone and still people want to kill you.

Oh also shears is dead. :(

Renwood (Martyn, Ren)

Oh ren. He's having a time. He's trying to be polite and friendly and make a “zoo lake” and asks why he and Martyn aren't smooching.

But at every turn this man has his life threatened by his own allies, his animals die (INCLUDING THAT BLOODY HORSE NOOOOOOO) and his homie/probably husband is killing people! What's that about?.... The shot was sick tho.

Hey, He may now have no allies or food but…. At least the lake protected them?

Idk they're probably doomed.

Martyn has some strange happenings this session. He goes skateboarding on a camel for one. He is also back to calling people humpers God damn it.

He also does make up for knocking Skizz off his stupid bad incredibly dangerous bridge by trying to lure people into the danger zone for him, but this ends about as well as every other trap done by anyone. At least he helped Grian get…revenge…

The Tuff Guys (Bdubs, Tango, Etho)

Firstly, Pancakes.

Secondly, etho doesn't know what Mt Saint Hellens is. You mean Yellowstone, Mr. Kakashi sir.

Anyway, on to things that are actually important, Bdubs finished his house!

Oh wait, I said things of importance.

Etho decides to make my life difficult by allying with 3 teams, all of which hate each other. So thanks for that, glad you died in that stupid trial chamber.

Etho ignores whatever stupid goals Leader Tango set out and instead focuses on the important thing of getting a Wolf army kitted out with armour and the less important thing of trying to get a shulker box to solve his inventory problem. That sir, is actually just a skill issue.

Now, Wardens. Where there be Wardens, there be a Tango to adopt them. Yep the Tuff Guys get a warden… for about three seconds until it gets trapped and everyone tridents it to death. This is also when “The Suprise Tool” was acquired by Pearl, a TOTEM OF UNDYING. Yeah Impulse is effectively on green now thanks to that, Thanks Gri! Impy FTW

(Ps homework for y'all is to find out who got that last hit on the Warden)

Now, I seem to remember Tango doing something to skizz… it resulted in grian taking revenge and bombing the hell out of the Tuff Towers and

Oh

Oh No, Skizzle…

The Spanner (Grian)

Let's start with grian. He is MOURNING Mumbo, even though he got bloody atomised last session he still pretends he's here. He names an Iron Golem after him, who later kills Jimmy so hooray revenge! Go Bloop!

He also goes chamber busting and continues to be besties with Scar… hey weren't they trying to kill each other not 2 sessions ago or….

He also fixes the “Spider Nest” tnt launcher so skizz doesn't blow himself up, skizz also names the tower after Mumbo in his honour.

Oh Grian also forgot to activate the wild card for like 5 minutes. Silly Goose. Hey at least it got people nice and paranoid.

Now, Skizz. He starts of great, Bombing Gem. I mean gem let him and he lost the life like 10 seconds later but he did it! He then does the stupidest thing I've seen since Skynet and builds a rickety bridge to drop TNT on tango's head. He was asking for martyn to wind charge him off.

Skizz seems to be really focused on Tango, he did ask Jimmy, Bigb & Lizzie to kill him after all.

But, well… Tango killed him. Did he thi k it would? No. But it did anyway. He tossed a wind charge up at Mumbo Tower and skizz fell. Grian didn't even have to watch to know what happened.

The Tuff Guys tried to make amends, but at that point it was too late. Also etho didn't help by talking to the wrong Grave like a Bimbo.

Grian then has a mental breakdown! And he does what people who have those in this series do and decides allying with Joel is a good idea somehow. He tries to replace the Spanners with the family. To pretend nothing happend.

It isn't working.

What will happen next? Who can say…

Me. Tango is gone next session. Mark my bloody words

More importantly tho, JIMMY HAS HIS BEST PLACEMENT (not counting real life) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PHOENIX BLESSING IS REAL

[pinkcowzz]

ahhh so. warning. will be talking about arcane s2 spoilers below the cut. i have. so! many. thoughts.

i've seen a few takes that s2 felt very rushed to some people, and like. yeah? i can get that. but also. not really.

there was A Lot of ground to cover so it moved very quickly but the pacing actually made a lot of sense to me. i think that this show has never attempted to tell each characters story in the fullest. like, to me, that's what makes the world building so good. you are only witnessing part of the story. there is only so much of each character that we, the viewers are allowed to see.

yes there was a lot introduced in the final act, yes some of it made zero sense. but, to me at least, it makes it so much more realistic and immersive.

the final act is war time. shit happens fast. decisions are made and acted upon almost immediately. there isn't time to mourn and there isn't time to grieve. if you stop, you will die so you must keep marching forward.

we don't get to see what signed is up to, we don't get to understand the complexities between mel and her mother, we don't get time to break down how the arcane is changing we just have to know that something is happening and it will affect us so we must do something to react.

moving on, i really wanna talk about jayce and viktor first because. their final discussion, had me ill. i'm honestly really glad that they are never officially established in the show, because it makes their bond that much stronger to me.

the first season, we see how their studies connected them and propelled them forward. in jayces case, it pushes him into politics. in viktors, deeper into the arcane. they had to set everything else aside *cough cough their morals and personal relationships(sky & each other)* in order to achieve what they wanted to achieve.

in the second season, we see how that was their demise. for viktor, the creators did an amazing job showing us this with the scene between him and sky.

'i'll miss our talks'

'no you won't'

like holy shit? in those two lines, we see how viktor has fundamentally changed. his goals, his objectives, they got lost somewhere. in the first season, we do see how much viktor enjoys discussing his ideals and thoughts, its what drives him to go and find jayce in the first place.

and as for jayce, he's icarus. he flew too close to the sun and he, in a lot of ways, is the beginning of the end. while ekko and heimerdinger were building their way out of the alt time line, he was witnessing the destruction his invention brought about.

and don't even get me started on them calling each other their partner during their entire last talk. like wtf im ILL.

okay! onto jinx! (and isha and vi) i have. heard a lot of complaints about how one- her death was for shock value and two- that isha's death was glossed over and i whole-heartily disagree.

i think first off, jinx isn't dead. there a lot of people out there who can put the details together more precisely than i care to tbh, but my biggest reason is the airship we see at the end. these creators LOVE their foreshadowing and i mean LOVE (think viktor showing off the invention and shooting that gun to how that gun is later used). i think it's literally the first episode that powder says she wants to ride in one and ur telling me the last episode we get a shot of one flying away? yeah no. my girl is alive and breaking the cycle.

speaking of breaking the cycle, vi would never be able to move on with her life if jinx is still around. she would never be able to grow, to be willing to work on her relationship with cait, would never be able to escape the guilt, etc etc. that's like, a big point that i think a lot of people are missing.

for vi, jinx is everything. and she should be. she is the only family she has left. and had she not walked away from her, there is NO TELLING what would've happened to the two of them.

jinx's 'death' was for the both of them. they can move on now, they are free to allow the shit show that was their childhood be in the past. like hello?????? did y'all not listen to the conversation that she had with ekko in the alt time line? you need to let go of some things to be able to move onto the next and it sucks and it hurts and its shitty but the world will keep spinning.

and the only way that jinx was able to come to this conclusion is because she lost isha. had isha still been around, she would have had to stick around zaun and piltover. but also. i need y'all to realize that jinx is used to losing people, she is used to grief, it is a close friend to her.

and i think, thematically too, vi not moving to the other ledge is SO IMPORTANT. she CAN'T let vander go. that was her father, that man raised her, she couldn't let him go. are y'all connecting the dots? like! hello! do you see?

vi has never been one to let someone she loves go lightly. the entire first season she is grappling with this idea that her sister changed, that she moved on and allowed herself to let her past (kinda) go. it doesn't make sense to her. she allows caitlyn back so easily because it terrifies her to lose someone in her life.

that is who she is in her core.

and that is why jinx makes the decision for her. it's her way of saying, 'i see you, i understand you and i will make the hard call for you because i love you'

so yeah, like i said. a lot of thoughts. im so excited to see wtf is going on in noxus in the future show and am so intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with mel.

also. maybe it's just me. but i love an open ending. i think being able to talk about the what if's and the maybe is so much fun. not everything has to be wrapped up with a bow on top. again, we, the viewers, only get a small insight into the world the characters live in. this show could go on for ages if we followed them all the way through their lives. this was never meant to be that type of show. go watch friends or smthn if you want a formulaic story that will clean every lose end up for you.

we follow these characters through a formative moment in their life, what happens next is up to them. (and psst. that's what fan fiction is for)

[sarbear94]

Because Evan-

(It’s a long one…sorry not sorry 😘)

Okay…. I’ve been rewatching some old Buddie scenes because of the potential of Eddie moving back to El Paso and…. excuse my language but…. What the fuck?

It’s like the writers are new or don’t know what to do with Eddie anymore. Or like someway, somehow the episodes are out of order.

In THAT scene, Buck asks “he has grandparents, family” and Eddie reply’s “After Shannon left, they tried to guilt me into giving Christopher to them. It wasn’t what I wanted then, it’s not what I want now.” They then both agreed that no one would fight harder for Chris than Buck.

So WHY THE FUCK haven’t either of them gotten him back yet??

Eddie started season 7 with Marisol and Chris and everyone’s fine. Then Chris is dating multiple girls (Eddie is baffled and doesn’t know how to handle it so he asks Buck for help) and said it has to do with his mom to Buck and we get that EMOTIONAL shot of Eddie devastated after hearing this. Then proceeds to give him a letter to bring about closure for him. Eddie seemed to already have closure or at least repressed it.

Then Eddie meets Kim…. And the Eddie we have loved for 6 seasons is IMMEDIATELY GONE. He does the exact same thing that he told Buck about Christopher was not okay And needed to be fixed (he was BEGGING Buck for help).

Like, my dude, how did you think this was gonna go? You kept everyone in the dark. Your son, your best friend, your GIRLFRIEND and even Kim! What was his end goal? It doesn’t make any sense.

Like I understand that if Gavin wasn’t gonna be around next season, and you need to write him off but have him potentially come back, there were several ways you could have done that but still kept true to the characters. Have Chris go to a boarding school. Or a school trip. Or literally ANYTHING ELSE! Then season 8, keep the Kim storyline, but Chris is already gone and doesn’t witness it. Cause now that whole confession thing with Kim pretending to be Shannon and actually get closure was pointless. If they’d done that with Chris gone, he’d have the closure. Work on the PTSD crawling back up in an empty house, keep the Priest and finding Joy and then keep that for a bit and then heal.

That was a whole side tangent really for the main point I was trying to make, but why does Eddie- lose Chris, grow a mustache, grieve for not having his son, have an episode where a Priest says “let yourself have Joy,” then take it away in the next couple of episodes by saying “I’m thinking of moving to Texas” based on the words of a psycho actor??

Chris is a TEENAGER! Hell- he might still be a preteen, grow the fuck up and go parent your son. You’ve put your foot down before, why is this any different?? After a few weeks, I would have been like “nope, we’re done with this. I get I fucked up, but I’m still your dad so we are gonna talk about this and figure out some common ground.” I understand feeling guilty and not wanting to push him even farther away but you’re not even trying! Phone calls don’t show “I want you here with me,” it says “I’m okay with you being gone.”

You’re thinking moving to El Paso is a great idea… but it’s not. Your parents suck. You know this. YOU MOVED HALF WAY ACROSS THE US TO GET AWAY FROM THEM FOR A REASON! I get you patched things up slightly, but not enough.

ALSO! Why wasn’t Buck an option?!? Because of Tommy? I get because Gavin being out of the show(temporarily?) would have made that impossible but why wasn’t it even mentioned? I mean, He’s run to him before, he’s called him when Eddie had his breakdown and Chris didn’t know what to do. But like THEY HAD THE WILL, why wasn’t it even a factor in this. At the time, it felt like, at least to Chris, that Eddie was incapable of taking care of him, which means that Chris should go to Buck. Not his grandparents.

I just don’t understand what they are doing with these two. E and C. Bucks got his bisexual journey(relationship with Tommy). Bobby has multiple storylines. The Hans had the Mara and new baby storylines. Hen and Karen had the Ortiz/Mara and Denny/Halloween storylines. Athena has literally any storyline involving cops. And all those storylines make sense for each character. Eddie’s and Chris’s doesn’t. They keep pushing Eddie to be sad then happy then making stupid decisions. DEVELOP YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER! You’ve been dropping the ball since at least the network switch. Which I find super funny because yes, he does the emotional scenes super amazing but now it seems like his character is more open. He’s making more funny faces, he’s got the loose hair, he makes comedic jokes. But he’s almost(so close) to reminding me of Buck 1.0.. but it doesn’t fit with the storyline at all. At least to me…

Like does anyone agree with any of this? Am I just seeing things? Did the writers get told Gavin was leaving too late and made this story on the fly and rolled with it? Does Ryan want out of the show and they are keeping it under wraps? Like WHAT IS HAPPENING? Make it make sense!

Ps. I did not proofread this before posting so if something doesn’t make sense, let me know. I was just trying to get down all my thoughts on this. Currently me vvv

[freewilllife]

In other words, you think Su-Won viewed marriage to Yona as a last-minute (and legitimate) alternative to murder that he half-heartedly believed in, ultimately giving up after Il rejected it?

No, I do believe that the irrational part of Soo Won that both desired to keep two of the few people that still cared for him, wanted to try this solution earnestly. Soo Won loves Hak and Yona. Or you can see it like this: Till the moment of King Il´s death...Soo Won´s box for both of these people was not closed...and he has never succeeded to close it completely till the end and not it is open again.

From the first time Hak speaks about that possibility we see that Soo Won is crying, when he thinks of Hak and Yona not being by his side. Soo Won did not even cry, when his father died...so much does he love them.

However, the likelihood of that becoming true was very small, to non-existant. And Soo Won must have been aware of it. He would not completely bet everything on it. Not if failure would mean a huge chunk of people dying.

There is also this...I do believe that Soo Won speaks the truth here...

For the first time, he might have looked at Yona as a woman...and he could imagine marrying here.

Up until now, it might be really that she was a child to him.

Who knows. Even so, he was considering murder as the other alternative. And if the chance was so slim, giving that hairpin was not a sound choice imo.

No, it surely wasn´t. But people do have desires and wishes and Soo Won wished for his two friends to stay by his side.

So it's one possibility, but here's another angle to consider: what if Su-Won genuinely believed that Hak and Yona were engaged the whole time and therefore never considered convincing Il? Because while Yona did confess her feelings to Su-Won and Hak supported the idea of their marriage, unless I am mistaken, Yona never explicitly told him that her "engagement" with Hak was off the table.

Oh, Yona did. That was directly before she confessed her feelings for Soo Won.

Yona denied the engagement here, but Soo Won didn´t buy it at first...and that was the reason, she tells him.

"The truth is, I..." and then Yona confessed her feelings.

After that Soo Won, and Yona telling him again, that she likes him, he seemed to have realized that Yona really had lied to him.

Actually, Soo Won even emphasized that he gave the hairpin to Yona pretty late in the game...So it is pretty sure, that the hairpin should signify something.

Closeness to Yona: Well, we do know now that Soo Won loving her hair, is heavily influenced by him being a descendant.

But this moment is also interesting, since Soo Won is actually trying to get close to Yona, by his own accord.

The whole chapter is funny in retrospective. Even that he gave her flowers...a flowery hairpin...as Kouka means flower...and that is the reason, he later killed her father.

I guess...this is the last time before King Il´s murder that he let´s himself be lead very strongly by his own emotions.

He is even staring at Yona and both only realize far too late that Hak is standing between them....and you could also look at it in retrospective, that the mangaka emphasized that both would never become a couple.

I interpret Soo Won denying "it" quite simple. He knew how unlikely the whole deal is...And additionally it is likely, that Soo Won had been caught by his own emotions...and he might not be very comfortable with this. that is why the sweat drop was maybe there...And Soo is surprised by his reaction ..that is why he answers in the first moment with "Huh?"

If Soo Won really tried to "act the lover"...he would have not denied it, when Hak mentioned it. And it would have been also unlikely that he had tried to get close to Yona, if he had honestly wished to kill her father...his guilt due to the murder, made him shrink back earlier...after all.

Closeness to Hak: Later we can see he is cooler, trying to persuade Hak to call him Soo Won. Also here, we can see that Soo Won wishes "closeness" to Hak...even though he considered murder? Unlikely.

Soo Won had both spent time with Hak and Yona and he considers this possibility seriously, however he still has a back up plan, if you want to think about it like this.

However, it all went absolutely wrong. The conversation between King Il and Soo Won...

Ever since Su-Won made the decision to make Yona the queen and Yona heard of it from Hak instead of him, I've been quite curious about what they'll say to one another when they finally meet face to face again. I don't know, I feel like that encounter just going to be different from all the others, intense. Because both have acknowledged her as his equal, just not directly to one another yet.

First there’s a political side. Whether Yona wants the throne, whether Su-Won really wants to pass it down. There is also the emotional side.

Yona remained calm (though disgusted) when she commented that Su-Won was selfish, but that was still from a distance. Which is why I can't shake the thought that Yona could be absolutely livid if Su-Won actually manages to enter the chalice (especially if it's with some intention to "save" Yona and "sacrifice" himself like some fear).

If it happens, can we get a scene where she slaps his face? Tells him to snap the fuck out of it? Stop making all these selfish decisions for her? To not put her on a pedestal and be so suicidal all of a sudden? That she's not a damsel in distress who needs saving, that she'll find a way to make the dragon gods to understand? Because such a scene will actually be a good subversion of expectations. Kusanagi has done it before, so this would be a great opportunity.

I mean Yona's already said it in her mind. "Don't you dare die as you please. Rely on those around you." She even said it to Hyu-ri. She just has to actually say those words to Su-Won himself.

Yona did disappoint me in the recent chapter because she became quite literally a damsel in distress (how else are we supposed to describe her in that scene), but a hypothetical scene like this would make up for it. It would return her agency. And honestly I've been dying to see a scene where Yona just lets all the resentment out instead of constantly suppressing it for the country or because she wants to be the better person. The dragon gods said she was also selfish, so let's see that side show a bit more.

[queer-geordie-nerd]

Man, why do I still feel weirdly guilty when I have to be off work when I’m in pain?

Yesterday, I could barely walk so I rang in sick, and ended up spending most of the day feeling bad about it because I know my colleague running the shift (who is also my friend) was really stretched and when I messaged her later in the day, she’d had a day from hell.

I know it’s not my fault that the company hasn’t staffed our shop adequately enough that one unexpected absence descends the whole place into chaos, but I still hate that I left her in the lurch.

And as much as I absolutely know that none of my colleagues actually think this, I always have this tiny voice in the back of my mind that won’t go away, saying that I’m a fraud, that there’s nothing really wrong with me, that I could manage if I really wanted.

[sharknark]

⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl

i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"

but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless

there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!

dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.

dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.

yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.

so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.

as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.

so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:

yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this

(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)

here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:

blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it

[loderlied]

i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao

[rhysdasior]

“I’m my mother’s son,” Rhys answered, ducking his head and averting his gaze with a humourless laugh. “That means two things; one, it means I’m every part as susceptible to a witch’s natural inclination to always strive for more when it comes to developing and mastering our magic. This position allowed that whilst simultaneously acting as a good addition to the ol’ CV. Two, it meant this – at the time – was a way to get out from under her watch. I’d planned to take up the position a few years before, but my grandmother knocked some sense into me and made sure I had a firmer hold on both myself and my magic.” For a moment, a fond smile settled on Rhys’ features as the mere mention of his grandmother was enough to bring Corinne’s ear-tugging and affectionate lecturing back to the forefront of his mind, the comforting familiarity almost enough to numb the ache of his guilt before he met Adrasia’s gaze again and the reverie shattered to bring him back to the grim reality. “I’ll admit, I was willingly naive. I didn’t look into what the position would entail fully prior to applying, didn’t think to question it during the… interview process. If I can call it that. By the time the job was mine and I’d actually taken the time to digest what was to be expected of me…” a sheepish smile blossomed across the witch’s face and he cleared his throat as he scanned their surroundings. “Well, my ego’s never been good at taking hits. My pride wouldn’t let me tap out. It would’ve meant proving my parents right – neither of them thought I’d be capable. Throwing in the towel so soon would’ve put me back at square one, stuck in London waiting for the day my mother decided to abdicate as High Priestess.” 

Forcing himself to hold Adrasia’s gaze, Rhys searched for the right words as he considered the remainder of the celestial’s questioning. “It’s selfish, I know. As are my reasons for remaining. During my years here, I’ve made bonds that mean more to me than my remaining family back home. I’ve got loved ones here now and others in the Undercroft that I’m hoping to buy freedom for when the time’s right.” It was easy to say the more socially acceptable words. It was also easier to swallow the unspoken admission that the paycheque and the prestige that came with the position still held importance regardless of his birthright and trust funds, no matter how morally reprehensible he felt for acknowledging such a fact. “I don’t have any justification for my behaviour. I could walk away at any point and I choose not to because, selfishly, I’ve got something good going on here and don’t want to put a stop to it. I’ll face the consequences of my actions one day, no doubt about it.” Finally pausing, Rhys took a deep breath and raised his brow at Adrasia with a sigh of laughter. “Feel free to tell me to shut up at any point now. Sorry, I’ve barely let you get a word in edgeways.”

Adrasia merely listened as Rhys laid out his experience, trusting the witch to direct their steps as his eyes lingered on the other man's face. Learning to navigate conversation without empathy had made the celestial's gaze a rather heavy one, always seeking out those subtle signs of a person's true feelings with mundane sight to make up for the suppression of divine senses. The behavior may have stemmed from a desire for understanding, but that hardly made Adrasia's stare any less piercing, especially given the subject matter. "Four years... that is a weighty role." Hardly one of the poor souls scrubbing the masters' suites clean. "The length of our tenure is nearly the same."

The celestial watched Rhys' gaze roam away over the gardens and the slow creep of disquiet across the witch's face. Rhys' conscience was far from clear, that much was obvious. Adrasia recognized it with some steeliness and only the smallest flickering of sympathy -- he had learned in these strange first months at Krovs just how winding a road one could walk to become a member of the staff there. Some reasons were more complex than others, but Rhys' position was hardly one a soul could be easy blackmailed into. He answered the witch's tentative smile with cool neutrality, the subtlest upward quirk of his brows. His silence seemed to encourage Rhys' words, a small flood of them, infused with shameful self-awareness. That was another strange thing about mortals: such an emotion almost always spurred action in the celestial, yet time and time again he had watched the people of this realm tear themselves to pieces over behaviors they would not change. Why did they do it? Why wallow in rightful guilt rather than do what was necessary to erase it?

Adrasia felt no closer to answering that question now as Rhys laid out his sins for him, or at least the most pressing of them. He followed the witch's unthinking motions, the cigarette stub, the hands rifling in pockets, the steadiness of Rhys' words regardless of their contents. Four years was a long time to grow used to a sin, even if you remained clear-eyed enough to name it. Adrasia nodded, pensive, then cut through to the core of the issue, as level as before: "Why did you take the job then, knowing what it would entail? Why remain?"

[momokatzetzgo]

little brain: Lisa was executed because the church thought she was a witch for her advanced medicinal knowledge and her lax relationship with God. Her knowledge challenged the authority of the Church, so it killed her for it

Big Brain: Lisa was executed because she was Catholic not Orthodox

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

[dualnaturedscientist]

Matthew flinched ever so slightly when the woman tried to take a step towards him. His glare remained steely and cold towards Evangeline. She stopped in her tracks before going any further, noticing the reaction that many would've easily missed. It dawned on Evangeline. Matthew was afraid of her. He reacted to her as if she were a threat to him. Their training was still ingrained into him. Guilt and shame filled her. "Cruelty from life. That's what happened to me, Evangeline. I don't understand. How is this possible? You should be dead by now. Or at least quite elderly." Her eyes widened as the goal previously in mind had been temporarily forgotten. The woman needed to save the others. Evangeline couldn't help but feel torn. Wanting to find out more about the changes in this city that she once knew so well. Wanting to know exactly what happened to Matthew after she was trapped in one of those horrible tubes. "Can't speak right now. They're waiting for me. They need to be saved. I need to find them!" The urgency in her tone made Matthew even more alarmed. She muttered to herself. "What happened to Hope City." The former supervillain frowned at that. "It's no longer Hope City. It's known as Fair City. What do you mean by others? Save who?" Fair City? She could only guess as to why the name of the city changed like that. Evangeline shook her head furiously. "You will but get involved. Not with this." With that said, the woman was about to take off on Matthew but was promptly stopped by him. He had taken hold of her wrist and gripped at it tightly. "You aren't going to show up out of nowhere and leave. I won't allow you to hurt me. Nor will I allow you to hurt my family." That made Evangeline pause for a moment. Family? He had a family? "No, no! I need to rescue the others! I'm not going to hurt anyone! Please, Matthew. Release me and allow me to do that." The longer he had held onto her, the more desperate and pleading she began to be. Matthew couldn't find it in himself to trust her. Why should he trust her? He owed her nothing. Not even an explanation like he's given her. Just as Matthew was going to question Evangeline more about what she was talking about, a voice called out. "Matthew? Buddy? Who's your friend there?" It was Frank. He had come back with his own snacks. Matthew long abandoned trying to gather some for himself. The heroine used this to her advantage. Evangeline twisted and yanked her arm away from his, gaining her freedom back. She didn't waste any time flying off before Matthew could grab ahold of her once more. He could only watch as she flew off gracefully down the street. Meanwhile, back at the house. Gene was still calming himself from that argument. Wiping away his frustrated and upset tears. If they had lost Alex and Alan already. There was no way in hell he would let Tristan get himself kidnapped by this mysterious foe of theirs. Becky needed Tristan in her life more than ever. Gene wanted to find a better way to bring Alex and his brother-in-law back home safely. Guaranteed that they'll see them all again. If Gene was going to be honest, as soon as Alex returns home to them safely. They won't let him out of their sight this time. He felt slight guilt, knowing that Hugh was no doubt missing Alan. He was either alone in his apartment or scouring the city for any sign of his boyfriend and Alex. Yet they were not successful in their endeavors. Gene paced around his room, hoping that Tristan would actually listen to him. The former villain dreaded going back downstairs to find Tristan missing. They needed to ensure no one else would go missing. Making sure they're returned safely. He was still agitated by the reckless plan his husband tried to reason with him with. After a few more minutes, Gene was finally calm enough to go back downstairs to speak in a civilized manner. He didn't want to risk upsetting his daughter again so soon. Gene went back downstairs to Tristan and his father. He was relieved to see him and Carl still there, having a discussion. “Oh thank goodness.” Gene stated aloud.

@ninjastormhawkkat

"Hold on a minute, some weird guy is staring at me. Probably some bum trying to get change off of me." Comments like that had ensured he would absolutely be relieved of guilt for what was to happen next. A smile spreads across the figure's facial features, revealing inhumanly sharp teeth glinting in the street lights. A hand quickly shot out, taking a hold of the rather obnoxious man. "What the hell are you doing-" A scream soon pierced the quietness of the night. It quickly became a horrendous gurgling noise. The cellphone in the man's hand had fallen in the process. Leaving the person on the other end to become worried and confused about what was happening to the man. It didn't take very long for the man to become completely still. The figure allows him to finally fall to the cement below, licking at his blood stained lips in satisfaction. "The night, it is still so young. I don't think I shall waste another minute on you." Like a ghost in the night, he had vanished. As if he were never there. Leaving only the grotesque mess he had made for others to find. Unknown to him, there was a witness to this who had seen the whole thing. Watching in complete and utter fear. The figure grinned, it was as if he were seeing the world through different eyes. The opportunities that awaited him. It sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. His thirst might have satiated but he wasn't satisfied with only that. Oh no. There was so much more he had in mind for this city. Just wait till morning until they discover his little surprise for all to see. It wasn't until hours later did he finally return to the house. Feeling pleased with himself. Carl shot up in bed, heart racing so fast within his chest. Calming down once realizing he was in bed with Matthew. It took the retired scientist to recognize his surroundings. "That's right.. we're at Gene's place." The dream he had woken up from was already fading from his memory. It was rather absurd, recalling what he could. He could've sworn the dream was incredibly vivid and felt so real. But the little bits of the dream that he did remember became fuzzy and distant in his mind. Carl wasn't as quiet as he thought. Matthew had woken up. "Love, are you okay?" His voice had brought Carl from his thoughts. "Matthew, dearest. I hadn't meant to wake you up." He frowned, feeling guilty as he wanted his husband to get as much rest as needed. "It's alright, I needed to get up early anyway. Don't feel bad, my darling. I'm worried about you, though.” He gave Matthew a smile. “It was just a dream. I was just startled from a dream. I don't even remember what happened in it anymore. I'll be fine.” Matthew pulled the other into his arms, holding him in such a comforting manner. Placing a loving kiss to Carl's forehead. “Even so, I've still got you.” The former scientist blushed. Matthew still had such an effect on him even after all this time. “Thank you, my love.” They had stayed like that for a good while. It wasn't until Carl noticed the time that he forced Matthew to get out of bed and to get ready for his community service. Though there was something that had been bothering Carl since waking up. He had not remembered going back to bed after his conversation with Gene last night. No matter how much he tried to, it just kept coming up blank to him. Carl sighed, he must've been that tired that he didn't remember. He was getting up there in age. “I could stay back. Margaret won't be very happy about it but I don't want to leave you if you're not okay.” Carl smiled once more. “I'm not going to be responsible for what she'd do if you tried. You're also expecting a new face there, aren't you?” Matthew looked surprised at that. He had completely forgotten about that. And Carl did make a point. Wincing at the thought of what Margaret might do if he actually did skip out on it. Though for Carl, it would've been absolutely worth it. Whatever punishment she'd dole out, he'd endure for his dearest husband. “Go get dressed now.” Matthew chuckled at that before doing as he said. Leaving Carl to this thoughts.

Carl still felt unsettled by the dream, it was like he was walking through a mist. Yet at the same time it was like someone or something was controlling his body and actions. The dream was scary, but also ludicrous. At one point Carl thought he saw someone who looked like his old narcissus ex boyfriend who he never thought about again until now. Carl just let out a sigh and shook his head. 'It was just a nightmare.' Carl reassured himself. He remembered how reading how the mind and senses can trick the body into thinking something is real when it isn't. His strange dream was just one of those cases. Carl decided to get out of bed and go downstairs. He was going to try and help his son and other son-in-law deal with this strange and frightening case of kidnapping. Carl pushed away the issue of the nightmare and headed downstairs, ignoring the feeling of dread in the back of his mind. Carl also did not pay attention to that fact that his mouth was no longer dry and that there was no glass cup on the nightstand when he got up that morning. Atomic Steele surveyed the area with caution and an intense gaze. He was going over the area looking for something out of the ordinary. Something that had bothered his friend and teammate Electric Blur. Something in this seemingly abandoned area affected Blur's powers. "I wasn't sure what just happened. It felt like I was suddenly communicating emotionally with a strange energy wave that was being transmitted from there. I felt uneasy and scared...but also sad for some reason." That is what Blur told Atomic when she came back to their hideout looking shaken and worried. She told him she never felt anything like that before, not even from the fallen B.E.A.W labs. Atomic Steele offered to check it out for her as the young heroine wasn't keen on returning to the spot. While Electric Blur was being comforted by her other teammates, Atomic followed the directions the heroine had given him to the location where she felt the strange and unsettling energy. What Atomic Steele found when he got there was a large but abandoned warehouse surrounded by an empty field. The area was surrounded by a rusted, wired fence. The place looked like it hadn't been used for years. Still, the normally brave yet brash young hero couldn't help but feel a child go up his spine. His gut and instincts telling him there is something dangerous here, something evil. Atomic Steele walked up to the doors of the warehouse. He grabbed at a rusted handle and tried opening it. To the hero's surprise and growing caution, the door easily unlocked. Atomic Steele took a deep breath and steadied his nerves. He then proceeded inside the warehouse in a slow pace, ready to discover what laid inside. "Oh hello there Matthew. Cutting it a bit close are we." Miss Dewey lightly teased the former villain as he just came into the library to start his community service. "Sorry about that Miss Dewey. I had some problems this morning but I'm here now." Matthew replied, feeling a bit embarrassed about cutting things close. He really didn't want to leave Carl and Gene alone during the family crisis that was happening but at the same time he really didn't want to test the limits of his second chance at freedom from prison. Miss Dewey gave the man a look of sympathy and concern. "You know, if there is a serious problem going on at home, I wouldn't mind helping you fill out some forms to request a temporary leave from your community service." The librarian offered. Matthew smiled in appreciation at her kind gesture. "Thank you Miss Dewey but I'll be alright." Matthew responded. "So has the new service worker arrived yet?", the former villain asked. Miss Dewey smiled and nodded. "Yes he is here. Matthew, allow me to introduce you to Frank Leigh." Matthew glanced over to the man Miss Dewey introduced. He looked to be a few years older than Victor but still younger than Matthew and Carl. He had dark hair and light, blueish gray eyes. The man gave a friendly wave to Matthew. "Hi nice to meet you." Frank spoke in a kind tone. @dualnaturedscientist

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

last post for the night i swear

the real tragic part about the whole science fair incident is that perpetual motion is impossible to achieve

ford’s machine would have never worked, regardless of whether or not stan had interacted with it

(warning i accidentally wrote an approximately 30-tag dive into ford’s character in the tags don’t click see more if you don’t want to read that)

anyway!! good night everyone ❤️‍🩹

[elftwink]

it boggles my mind that I still see reminder type posts about not consuming Harry Potter content, not because I expected everyone to agree to stop engaging but because I did sort of expect that the people engaging with hp in 2024 would at least have the decency to not grovel on the internet for random transgender bloggers to validate that they're still a good person and not transphobic for liking hp still. like these posts are not redundant they are FILLED with defensive responses and excuses for why actually its fine and its like not only can you not stop engaging with Harry Potter but you also want to be able to post about doing so non-stop and you never ever want to even see a transgender person point out that JKR is actively funding and directly influencing transphobic organizations and legislation. to the point that when someone does you are incapable of simply scrolling by because you need so badly to be reassured that this internet rando doesn't think you specifically are a bad person for doing the thing they said is bad. unreal main character syndrome. if you have committed to being an hp fan fine i am not a cop or your mom and I cannot make you do anything at all. but I am not, nor is any other trans person, going to give you 'permission' or absolve you of your own guilt for doing so. that is your problem to reconcile yourself and is not the job of random trans people. like jesus christ enough already

[presidentcircles-assistant]

Parallia/Renata Character Intro:

i apologize ahead of time, for this is very long.

Childhood best friend of R. Line, known as Renata at that time. Both around 11-12 years old. The two had quite different personalities. Parallia was always the more daring and ambitious of the two, determined to change the horrible conditions the Rural Villages were forced into and create a better life for her and Renata. She detested being deprived of resources and autonomy, and the way she saw it, she would push and shove with brute force until the world had no choice but to accept her. Parallia had come to accept that if she was forced to, she would be willing to die for her beliefs. But she was still just a kid, and was afraid of death all the same. Renata trailed along in her footsteps, afraid of going against authority, but also unwillingly to let go of the friend whose strength and ambition reassured her that they would make it out of here someday. They were practically inseparable.

There is always constant surveillance from Soldiers in their villages, but they are usually avoidable, lingering around predictable areas in the streets or buildings. No use spending more valuable resources than needed on Isosceles. When Inspection days draw closer, many more Soldiers are sent and are much more vigilant to make sure nobody attempts escape. It is an agreed upon rule that talk of the Third Dimension is forbidden during these times. Parallia resented having to hide her religion and beliefs just because somebody higher up said it was so. She viewed the entire village as being comprised of cowards, willingly silencing themselves instead of standing up for what the believed in.

When they went to one of the makeshift schools still open but run under tight restrictions, Parallia began to continuously talk of the Third Dimension and refused to stop after being told to keep quiet several times by the Teacher. After dismissing early, Parallia walked out with Renata, but was held back by the Teacher, saying she had to discuss something with her. Renata watched her walk into the school building. In a moment of panicked desperation to keep their village alive, the Teacher murders Parallia in order to silence her.

Renata is the only one who knows the truth of what happens, and is forced to watch the rest of the village dismiss it as an accident and quickly move on. She feels heavy guilt, thinking that she was responsible for Parallia's death. She had the feeling something was wrong, and could have led Parallia away before she could go with the Teacher. But she didn't. She was too afraid.

She attempts to tell her mother, but she gets chastised for trying to ruin a trusted community member with a horrible, unfounded accusation. The loss of Parallia wounds Renata in a way that she never recovers from, and she lives out her childhood reliving trauma that nobody will support her through. She spirals into a mindset of suspicion and animosity towards everyone around her, and becomes fueled by the ambition of finding a way out of her situation, not by taking steps to improve the world she lives in now, but by endlessly praying towards a place far away from this where she can leave all her issues behind without a second thought. Who cares what happens to the others? She loses sight of the original intention behind Parallia's actions, done to try to make a better world for her people to live in, and takes certain aspects of Parallia's beliefs and amplifies them until she is focused on exacting revenge without remorse. She adopts the truth the world has taught her, that brute force and cruel measures are the solution to any issues that arise.

The moment her cruelty begins to be engrained into her is with the Teacher. The Teacher's guilt for what happened only arises when she is forced to interact with Renata in her daily life and be held accountable for what she did. Renata pulls Parallia's murder up from the depths, forcing the Teacher to stare what she's done in the face and accept that this is the horrible thing she chose to do and that she must live with it forever. They are stuck in this village together, and Renata torments her every chance she gets. It's Renata's first real taste of the satisfaction contained in the ability to force suffering onto those you feel deserve it.

Renata takes on the name R. Line to separate herself from what happened. Renata let the one person that would ever be loyal to her die because of her own hesitancy and weak will. R. Line will not falter. Renata was ignorant about the true workings of the world and thought that one young line from a poor village could change anything. R. Line knows that there is nobody she can rely upon in this world except the steady truth that the Sphere will give her salvation after death. She puts all her faith into an idealized future in order to distract herself from the bleakness of her life in the village.

Parallia's death teaches R. Line she has two options in this world: to speak out and die, or to silently endure and live. She chose life.

[nururu]

wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow